Being a Mom

I read this in an email today (Thanks Nikki!) and wanted to share it with all you other mothers out there. I don't know if it was just my pregnant hormones, but it sure made me cry. And it was perfect timing as a great reminder just as morning sickness kicks in with a vengeance.



We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. 'We're taking a survey,' she says half-joking. 'Do you think I should have a baby?'

'It will change your life,' I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. 'I know,' she says, 'no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations.'

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave Her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, 'What if that had Been MY child?' That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of 'Mom!' will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope to live for many more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.


I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. 'You'll never regret it,' I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Wild Man Kadyn

This is only a fragment of my wild and crazy afternoon. I must have run around like this for 10+ minutes. Mommy was trying to catch me spinning in circles (you can see the tail end of one in the very beginning when I fall down) and/or doing my singing dance, but I was camera shy...can't you tell? (Don't forget to turn the music off before viewing)

The Lord is Risen!

Happy Easter! To celebrate Easter my mommy and Sam's mommy planned a special Easter egg hunt for us and our friend Gracie. We hunted far and wide out in front of my house.

Once I realized that there were yummy things to eat inside the eggs I hunted harder than ever.

And what would the day be like without a special group picture? None of us were smiling because the grownups kept trying to make us look at them...all we wanted to do was dive into the candies in the eggs.

Happy Easter everyone.

Learning the art of being a big brother

So, since I'm going to be a big brother in T-minus 8 months I thought I should take some notes from someone that's a little closer than I am. I had Sam over last night to help teach me a few things (he'll be a big brother the beginning of July).

Sam wanted to teach me how to decorate Easter eggs. This is a very important skill for big brothers to know how to do.

At first, I thought that you needed to throw the eggs in the dye. Sam told me that is what "babies" do. Big brothers use the stirring sticks and carefully place them in the dye. Hmm, I'll have to work on that one.

I then thought that eating the eggs would be better than dying them. Sam told me that big brothers share. So he ate an egg too. It's a good thing I still have 8 more months to practice this whole big brother thing because it's confusing.

But I had a lesson to teach Sam too...eating cookies is even better than eating eggs :)

15 Months Old

Yup, it's true. I am 15 months old today and have an exciting announcement to make. I am going to be a big brother!! Mommy keeps telling me she has a baby growing in her tummy, but I don't believe her yet. When is the big day you ask? Well, it would only figure that since I was born right before Christmas, this baby needs a special holiday too. This baby's due date is November 21. That makes mommy 4 1/2 weeks pregnant. Yes, it's early, so please keep mommy and the baby in your prayers for a happy and healthy 9 months (and pray for me and daddy too because mommy has been in a poopy mood).

Happy Saturday

Diaper Riding

I heard that riding your horse in just a diaper is the new cool thing to do. I tried it out at my nana's and papa's last night. It's true! I was thinking of hosting a diaper riding lesson soon. I've become quite the pro at getting the horse a rockin lately...not to mention I can ride with no hands!